To sleep, perchance to dream

Photo

Sun, 04 Dec 2011 15:24:45 -0600

Yeah I’d rather spend all of our money on wars than...

Sat, 09 Jul 2011 13:58:22 -0500

Yeah I’d rather spend all of our money on wars than securing our scientific future. Glad this was the last one.

Requited Love Denied

Fri, 14 Jan 2011 21:42:05 -0600

They say the saddest thing is
Unrequited love.

I’ve found a thing,
Which takes a place above

Unrequited love is farce,
Transcending feelings - on one side sparse.
Grief wracked we wonder, why not me?
I’m twice the man - can she not see?

Mournful mornings,
Feelings flayed,
A cosmic joke on us is played.

But another thing entire is requited love denied.
That’s a holy feeling died,
Conscience’s coward -
Self deprived.

While together,
Blissful rapture.
What no words could say, a look could capture.
Your shining eyes, with love did speak;
Sang journey’s end, that which I seek.

I went from standing all alone
To sitting on our coupled throne.
Scarce touches seemed to presage bliss
Your every gaze a gentle kiss.
Your smile made my world seem whole.
Such promise plucked my bashful soul.

And shouldn’t love just make us free?
But fantasy found, here not to be.

On the brink,
You stop to think.
You ponder the imagined cost.
You pull away - our moment lost.
Life is long and longer still
When abnegation’s what you will.

But to turn your back on something real;
Give back to heaven what angel’s steal?
Take our gift and throw it away?
Heed only what your fear can say?

And while we yearned for magic’s touch
You dwelled upon dread’s tragic clutch.
Deny our future; deny yourself
There is no other kind of wealth.
That feeling we felt..? Fate did give
Us all we truly need to live.

If life’s a ladder
While we climb
We’ll think upon this other time
And look below at all we’ve left
And shed a tear, for love bereft.

If life’s a dream, one day we’ll wake
And look upon what we did make
And think upon a long past theft
And shed a tear, for love bereft.

If my life’s a story,
When it is told
Someday when I am very old
My children press around my bed
Their children making mankind’s thread.

My wife will hold my shaking hand
My mind is roving heartbeats spanned.
I’ll ponder reasons, find final rhyme
And close my eyes the one last time.
And before it is not quite too late
I’ll think of our unhappened fate.

Godspeed and goodbye my dear.
Be happy, strong and persevere.
And may your journey take you far.
But think of me when you see stars.

-Unknown

This feels like ancient history.

Sat, 08 Jan 2011 17:06:16 -0600

This feels like ancient history.

jordantfs: Kanye West’s twisted music video for Monster. Watch...

Sat, 01 Jan 2011 14:49:47 -0600

jordantfs:

Kanye West’s twisted music video for Monster.

Watch This: Best Kanye yet.

Good times for a change see, the luck I’ve had can make a...

Tue, 21 Dec 2010 11:48:32 -0600

Good times for a change
see, the luck I’ve had
can make a good man
turn bad

So please please please
let me, let me, let me
let me get what I want
this time

DOING: Set up an Apple //c as an OS X terminal System

Sat, 18 Dec 2010 10:28:39 -0600

DOING: Set up an Apple //c as an OS X terminal System

houseofmoon:

Tue, 16 Nov 2010 01:50:29 -0600

houseofmoon:

Apple has the rights to sell Beatles music in their iTunes store, which is a big deal because prior to today YOU COULD NEVER BUY BEATLES MUSIC ANYWHERE, EVER.

Tue, 16 Nov 2010 00:08:14 -0600

Apple has the rights to sell Beatles music in their iTunes store, which is a big deal because prior to today YOU COULD NEVER BUY BEATLES MUSIC ANYWHERE, EVER.:

rubenquesadillas:

inothernews:

Eyeroll.

About time.

Download Girl Talk's New Album ALL DAY for Free

Tue, 16 Nov 2010 00:00:04 -0600

Download Girl Talk's New Album ALL DAY for Free: New Girl Talk Album ALL DAY Free:

Options:

MP3s (separated tracks)
MP3 (one seamless file)
FLAC options will be added in 12-48 hour

http://www.illegal-art.net/allday/

The site is getting hammered, here is a mirror of the MP3s: http://www.mediafire.com/?78j01knnb3w4bca

legoexpress: briansims

Sun, 14 Nov 2010 12:21:14 -0600

legoexpress:

briansims

jordantfs: Antoine Potter.

Sat, 13 Nov 2010 12:00:59 -0600

jordantfs:

Antoine Potter.

In case you were ever curious about the difference between a Web...

Fri, 12 Nov 2010 12:19:16 -0600

In case you were ever curious about the difference between a Web Developer & Web Designer. (hint: There is a big difference)

theheirofslytherin: kayleefrye: chainsawhoney: mrstonystark: ...

Wed, 10 Nov 2010 17:12:41 -0600

theheirofslytherin:

kayleefrye:

chainsawhoney:

mrstonystark:

strawbryshortcake:

lesfemmefatale:

Oh my god. A girdle dress? with garter clips on the bottom? Just when I thought Mrs. Hendricks couldn’t get any more perfect.

(via suicideblonde)

gorgeous!

THIS. DRESS.

Sweet Jesus this woman is beyond stunning.

Jizz everywhere.

Wowz

The football match was going pretty well at this point. Despite...

Sun, 31 Oct 2010 15:44:33 -0500

The football match was going pretty well at this point. Despite my team losing :)

Miss having a proper pub down the street. :(

Sun, 31 Oct 2010 15:31:11 -0500

Miss having a proper pub down the street. :(

"The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it… I can resist everything but..."

Sun, 31 Oct 2010 13:49:05 -0500

“The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it… I can resist everything but temptation.”

- Oscar Wilde

"I think that God in creating Man somewhat overestimated his ability."

Sun, 31 Oct 2010 13:42:02 -0500

“I think that God in creating Man somewhat overestimated his ability.”

- Oscar Wilde

NaNoWriMoNow. Meow.

Sun, 31 Oct 2010 12:46:37 -0500

I talked about doing it last year, and I didn’t do shit. At least once a week since then I have talked about how I am actually going to do it [next time]. It has been this golden goal on my horizon for a few years now. NaNoWriMo [National Novel Writing Month] is my Dryland. (How’s your Waterworld references these days?) In 12 hours, I will once again be presented with my annual opportunity to either fulfill a lifelong goal and quell a point of contention and platform of self loathing in my life, or continue to not only allow the progression but contribute personally to the steady depreciation of my self worth. In 12 hours, I am doing it.

I am writing a novel. 50,000 words. One month. I am doing it.

Confused on what NaNoWriMo is? National Novel Writing Month is a competition and challenge to write a 50,000 word novel from start to finish in the month of November. It happens annually and is really a competition with your own laziness and procrastination. You can win it, by finishing, but everyone can win. There is no one winner. By completing your novel in one month you stand atop the mountain of insurmountable shit and doubt and finally tell yourself that you can do it. You did it.

I have had one ~~living~~ hell of a time the past few months. This was supposed to be the golden era for me. The capstone to a shitty existence and a gateway to the best times of my life. Well it wasn’t. I’ve still been eating the same shit just a different flavor. Writing this novel has sort of become this oasis in the desert of doubt for me. This one thing that I have to make myself to. To show myself that I can do something. I can do this thing that I’ve dreamed of doing for years. Even with everything that has happened, I can ~~hopefully~~ still do this.

I’ve done many things in my life. I’ve been many things. I always try something for a while then move on. Decent at a thousand things and a master at nothing, but since I was in middle school I have had the dream that I am supposed to be a writer. I tend to be a very technical person, having had an aptitude for computer science and worked in that industry since I left high school, but I tend to value artists more. I’d give up my technical ability for artistic talent any day. I have this one small trait that is common among technical or science minded people that is crippling for an artist: I am a perfectionist. I have not started writing a novel yet because I cannot find the perfect entry point or idea to start (of which said perfect idea or start does not exist of course). I feel like I have the ability to do it. I have the voice. Yet like a stuttering child I cannot form a single word. I get an idea, talk about it a little, talk about how I’ve always wanted to be a writer, talk myself into the idea that this is a great idea and I could do it and within a few hours (and of course before ever starting) I have found a hundred holes and flaws in the idea and I cannot bring myself to do it. And of all the hundred holes and flaws in all the hundreds of ideas that I’ve had over the years there is always that one single constant flaw that isn’t in the story or idea itself but exists before the genesis of the idea ever begins. I don’t believe that I can do it. Doubt. The unavoidable factor that poisons my life. A poisonous cancer that moves through everything I do and every thought I have. But do or die, I am making myself do it this year. I need the sense of achievement. I need the feeling of self control. I need to use this as the new start of the next chapter of my own life. If I’ve ever needed it I certainly need it now.

I have added a word count widget to my blog. I will be updating it with my progress, and I will be doing blog posts periodically to talk about my progress (and ruminate in advance on the state of my own failure. Of course. You know me).

Hopefully in 5 years or so you will be able to find me in your library or Barnes & Noble. Even if you don’t, I think if I could hold a piece of published literature created by me even knowing no one else ever read it, I will finally be able to feel content. Finally be able to feel that whatever that ‘it’ in all of our individual lives is that we must do in order to validate our existence is, that I did mine. I did it.

And in 11 hours and 15 minutes I am finally starting it.

Having nothing, nothing can he lose. - Shakespeare

rubenquesadillas: classics: sampler: casa-11-mujures: michi66...

Sat, 30 Oct 2010 21:42:04 -0500

rubenquesadillas:

classics:

sampler:

casa-11-mujures:

michi66f:

deadgirls:

suicideblonde:

Scarlett Johansson